Last night as I was driving home from Prosser I found myself in a scene of a movie. Stars posing as fireflies, winds singing a mystical song that only the desert bushes could feel the rhythm of, and a relentless driver whose foot had grown an addict to his accelerator. Never in my life have I loathed driving at night as much as I did at that moment. To some reason, unknown to man, this impaired driver...either didn't happen to see the left lane to his side, or was to fond of the 3 foot space that had been tracking his marks for miles back. Either the case the man decided to play a game of car tag at 70 miles an hour. Now while I have always been fond of childhood tag, playing this kid game on an interstate...is like bringing a child to a strip bar, you just don't do it. So, like any driver, I crossed the restricting lines and hoovered to the right lane...which at that time seemed like a splendid idea to my friend behind me as well. I tell you, for those 4-6 minutes of this escapade, I couldn't think of anything else but how to get this crazy loon off my back, when finally he decided he had enough games at this milepost, and would rather take his bag of tricks to the next victim ahead. Now, while most people would be replaying the last five minutes in their minds, I, however, was not. Instead I couldn't get over one thing...and that one thing...has been stuck in my head throughout the entirety of the last twenty four hours...
Don't you ever find it funny, how each and everyday we go out into the world we give thousands of people a ticket of trust. I mean, let's face it, everyday that we get into our cars and turn out of our driveway, we place our lives in other peoples hands. Every time that we are driving home on that one lane street, and see the little red honda up ahead, we trust that they will remain within their boundaries, and not swerve into our lane. Every time we walk across the street, we trust that the people in their vehicles will not run us over. And every time we walk down that mysterious alley way, where all you see is graffiti and garbage cans..we trust that the man walking ever so slowly behind us...will not put a gun to the back of our heads.
Now, you'd think that people whom every day, hand out countless tickets of trust...would never be incapable of trusting those closest to them. I mean, it sounds absurd right? Trust a stranger...but not a lover, a friend? Crazy, yet true. While we may insure our lives with so many individuals around the globe on a day to day basis, we as humans, grow very protective of our hearts...so much so, that we shield it more than our own lives. Steering clear of commitments, confining ourselves to piles of work, having casual relationships with no strings attached or FWB (Friends with benefits,) all to avoid the grim fate of loves demise. I mean, why go all the way..why make commitments, if they are doomed to failure right? Better to play games, then to sign contracts right?
As a young individual, I can see why this type of lifestyle is favored. People are afraid of rejection, and with the divorce rate sky high ...why torment ourselves with that type of life? But, as a mere observer of this whole charade...isn't the nature of casual relationships just as intoxicating...just as lonely? For, whether you like it or not, you open yourself up to someone...you show them your vulnerability and a piece of your heart...only to always be uncertain if they will one day walk away. Sure there is no commitment, no strings...but deep down inside...when you really love someone, don't you want there to be? Don't you want some type of commitment that will stand the test of time and will never be broken-whether that commitment is labeled marriage or something else?
It's sad because our Western society has transformed marriage into something, I see as a joke...Peoples words these days mean nothing. Vows are often broken, simply because of hard times. No one said life was easy Cinderella, that's why you got to put on your boxing gloves and take the good with the bad. I mean, look at our country. We pretty much can see, do, marry whatever we damn well please...restrictions have been broken, freedom is all around us..so why are we so miserable? Why are there so many broken families, relationships, marriages? People, we get to choose who we can marry...Centuries ago this was merely a fantasy! Why are we so willing to give up on love? Why are our commitments taken with a grain of salt?
I guess as I was driving home last night, all of this came to mind. How I can drive on an interstate everyday with thousands of nameless faces...and trust them all with the safety of my life, but I can't even trust a boy with my heart.
Guess I have more learning and growing to do !
No comments:
Post a Comment