Love and all its glory.

As I sit here on my bed staring out the window...my mind trails off to the one topic that always seems to glitter with appeal, love. I don't know what it is, but there is something about this tricky little topic that can keep your heart doing cartwheels and your mind punching numbers. Trying to figure out the answers to this equation is merely impossible because you will never get the right answer. Love is different for everyone, and no matter how many games you play or hearts you break, there is never a pattern for getting it right.


I think for some people, especially those who like to keep things in control, this can really drive you mad. It can break you, shake you, tear you down, but with just a simple bat of an eyelash, lift you right back up. It's this sick twisted game that you want to keep playing until your eyes bleed, because you're yearning for control of the wheel. Yet with love, there is no control. Love just is.


It's sad really, this 'game of love.' So many hearts get shattered, which only leads to brick walls, fences, and guarded entrances. Closing yourself off because you'd rather maintain all that stability and control you lost, after swearing to yourself you would never lose it again. A year or two go by...and you feel like you're ready to take another swing. This time you'll notice the negative signs right away and dump the loser when they attempt to play you like the last. 


I guess as I'm thinking all this through, I look to the picture on my wall. A picture taken in the 1940's of a young couple in love. A couple who has undergone 59 years of marriage. A couple who has seen good times and bad times, but stuck it out to the end. Who is this couple you ask? My grandparents.


What has happened to love these days? Why is it so ungodly complicated. Why does it feel like a puzzle that no one can ever solve? Why do people give up? Why don't people give it a shot? I feel like a four year old asking these questions to a teacher who doesn't have the answers. Why isn't there a class that prepares us for this? I mean there are books on the rules of the road...why aren't there books for the rules of the heart? 


Yet, at the same time, I think maybe it's not all that complicated. Maybe we make it complicated because we haven't found the right person. You hear couples tell you that when they met their spouses, they just knew. "There was that moment of absolute certainty" they say.


So maybe instead of searching the seven seas and driving ourselves mad, we should just take a chill pill and relax. When the right one comes, we'll know. The signs will all point in the right direction. There will be no up and down roller coaster, just that moment of absolute certainty.


But then again, what do I know? ;]


Now Playing: John Denver's "Perhaps Love"