I got lost in this world, and forgot who I am.

Ever seen those videos where the camera is focused on a single rose and time is sped up, only to show us how that rose changes overtime? And when we watch it blossom...and then wither to its death...it appears as those all these changes have happened so fast, when really it's taken days, months, and years?

I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of this process and I'm not blooming or dying, just flat in the middle-like the center of an Oreo. I tend to blame the town, and things scattered around me for my 'flat' attitude towards life. Which, if you've been brought up in this area for as long as I have, you may feel the same resentment.

I've always been a happy, outgoing person. Confident, but never to the point where I place myself at some ungodly standard, like those business cooperate heads in New York, or celebrities with inflated egos. But lately, lately, I just feel as though I am not that person anymore. Not that I don't wish to become that person again. But just that, for sometime now I've need a break. As to which I am still in that slump. To not care, not want to care, not give a damn..in so many words. I'll snap out of it, I always will. But is it truly wrong for a person to dwell over their years-in an attempt to make sense of things, of life? Must we place our lives on fast-forward-and rush through all our days? Can we not, evaluate our time given? I feel as though, this day in age-if you are not living for your job or starting a family, then you are pinpointed as mere 'waist of air.' But why? Why do we always have to jump from place to place to place to place. Can we ever just sit back and enjoy that movie, book, or magazine. Take time to do what we love? Or rather, figure out..what we love?

Who made these rules, and why in the world do we all follow them?

Maybe I'm stuck in a sort of depression. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm dwelling on issues and events that need to be put in a box and placed on a shelf. I keep on telling myself that, tomorrow, tomorrow will be the day that I snap out of it. Tomorrow will be the day that everything will be brighter, and I'll be happier. Tomorrow, oh tomorrow. I guess, tomorrow..just never seems to come.

And I guess as I keep on plowing through trying to pinpoint an experation date on my feelings...I've realized that just maybe as I recall these events..I'm learning, I'm growing. Understanding, and trying to figure out who I am. And maybe, when I'm ready..I'll bounce up to that excited confident person I was before, but for now, I need not look for when the credits roll, just enjoy the movie at hand.